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Technology Quotes

More Fantastic Great Technology Quotes

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"Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage, and those who manage what they do not understand."

  • "The Internet interprets censorship as damage and routes around it. -- John Gilmore, NYT 1/15/96, quoted in CACM 39(7):13"
  • "The trick is to not put up with the bullshit of the guild system. That's what Bill Gates did, or he would have stayed at Harvard and become a near-great mathematician. -- Robert X. Cringely"
  • "The Internet is a shallow and unreliable electronic repository of dirty pictures, inaccurate rumors, bad spelling and worse grammar, inhabited largely by people with no demonstrable social skills. -- Chronicle of Higher Education, 4/11/97"
  • "The Internet is full. Go away. -- Networld/Interop '95"
  • "The Internet is like a gold-rush; the only people making money are those who sell the pans. -- Will Hobbs, IUMA"
  • "The Internet is like a large jellyfish. You can't step on it. You can't go around it. You have to go through it."
  • "The Internet is the most powerful magnifier of slack ever invented."
  • "The Internet, of course, is more than a place to find pictures of people having sex with dogs. -- Philip Elmer-Dewitt, Time Magazine, 7/3/95 p 40"

"43rd Law of Computing: Anything that can go wr <segmentation fault>"

"The first sign of a nervous breakdown is when you start thinking your work is terribly important. -- Milo Bloom"

"The first time, it's a KLUDGE! The second, a trick. Later, it's a well-established technique! -- Mike Broido, Intermetrics"

"The Robster (busy cracking VMS's \"secure\" hash for passwords...) drugs NSA nuclear red mercury Castro ITAR rhubarb Khaddafi hi spooks assassinate GCHQ porn Oklahoma conspiracy plutonium Krasnoyarsk M4 boo -- Robert Harley's .sig"

"A Law of Computer Programming: Make it possible for programmers to write in English and you will find the programmers cannot write in English."

"The computer industry is so closely wed to Microsoft's fortunes that rooting against Windows 95 is akin to wishing for a stock market crash. -- Newsweek"

"The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually, the programmer."

"The computer is unbeatable for dashing quick thoughts off to strangers as a way of procrastinating sending messages to friends. -- Judith Martin, Miss Manners, 09/25/94"

"The computer virus could do no damage; it was immediately devoured by all the bugs in our own programming."

"The computing field is always in need of new cliches."

"The entire software industry runs on coffee just as much as it runs on electricity. -- Dan Sorenson"

"A group of hackers devised a protocol for transmitting Usenet over the Internet, which was completely subsidized by the federal deficit. -- Unix-Haters Handbook"

"A language that doesn't have everything is actually easier to program in than some that do. -- Dennis M. Ritchie"

"A PC is the LSD of the 1990s. -- Timothy Leary"

"12% of European homes have a PC, compared with 37% of American homes. -- WSJ, 1/97"

  • "640K ought to be enough for anybody. -- Bill Gates, 1981",
  • "1200 bps used to seem so fast..."
  • "2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!"

"SENILE.COM found... Out Of Memory..."

"Send me a stamped, self-addressed e-mail and I'll send you more witticisms! -- Robert Harley"

"Send them illegal copies of things they own the copyright on. This is like stealing pens from a police station. -- John Dobbin"

"Sending e-mail is simply sending garbage at the speed of light. -- Deborah Daw"

"SQL is the Fortran of data bases. Nobody likes it much, the language is ugly and ad hoc, every data base supports it, and we all use it. -- Levine, Mason & Brown, in _lex & yacc_, 2nd edition"

"SQWERTY, n.: Computer keyboard sized down for use by children."

"SYNTAX? Why not--they tax everything else!"

"A bug in the hand is better than one as yet undetected."

"A bugless program is an abstract theoretical concept."

"A clean desk is a sign of a really full hard drive!"

"A computer calls his son a microchip off the old block."

"A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy. -- Joseph Campbell"

"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. -- Mitch Ratliffe, Technology Review, April 1992"

"A computer scientist is someone who fixes things that aren't broken."

"I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly"

"A Law of Computer Programming: Make it possible for programmers to write in English and you will find the programmers cannot write in English."

"A PC is the LSD of the 1990s. -- Timothy Leary"

"A bad standard is better than nothing. It gives you something to violate."

"If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0"

"The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents."

"Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there's Google."

"unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; unmount; sleep" - my daily unix command list

"... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs." - Robert Firth

"If Python is executable pseudocode, then perl is executable line noise."

"The more I C, the less I see."

“Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.” — Michael Sinz

"To err is human... to really foul up requires the root password."

"After Perl everything else is just assembly language."

"If brute force doesn't solve your problems, then you aren't using enough."

"Life would be so much easier if we only had the source code."

"Unix is user-friendly. It's just very selective about who its friends are."

"COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods."

“Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.” — Michael Sinz

"There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't."

Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."

"Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. NO is the answer." - Erik Naggum

"Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Computers are from hell."

"SUPERCOMPUTER: what it sounded like before you bought it."

"Windows95: It's like upgrading from Reagan to Bush.

"People say Microsoft paid 14M$ for using the Rolling Stones song 'Start me up' in their commercials. This is wrong. Microsoft payed 14M$ only for a part of the song. For instance, they didn't use the line 'You'll make a grown man cry'."

"A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light"

"The best accelerator available for a Mac is one that causes it to go at 9.81 m/s2."

"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila"

"1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d"

"To go forward, you must backup."

"I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code"

"A Windows user spends 1/3 of his life sleeping, 1/3 working, 1/3 waiting."

"My software never has bugs. It just develops random features."

"Better to be a geek than an idiot."

"Windows isn't a virus, viruses do something."

"Geek's favorite pickup line: Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform? "

"Be nice to geeks when you're in school, you might end-up working for one when you grow-up."

"Difference between a virus and windows ? Viruses rarely fail."

"Evolution is God's way of issuing upgrades."

"The only problem with troubleshooting is that sometimes trouble shoots back."

"It's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages."

"The box said 'Required Windows 95 or better'. So, I installed LINUX."

"Computer are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open windows."

"once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary,
over many a strange and spurious site of 'hot xxx galore'.
While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour,
" 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, "give me back my free hardcore!"
quoth the server, 404."

"Mac users swear by their Mac,
PC users swear at their PC."

"Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to driver error."

"Dating a girl is just like writing software. Everything's going to work just fine in the testing lab (dating), but as soon as you have contract with a customer (marriage), then your program (life) is going to be facing new situations you never expected. You'll be forced to patch the code (admit you're wrong) and then the code (wife) will just end up all bloated and unmaintainable in the end."

"Real men don't use backups, they post their stuff on a public ftp server and let the rest of the world make copies." - Linus Torvalds

"There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those that understand trinary, those that don't, and those that confuse it with binary."

"If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime."

"It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice versa."

"I had a fortune cookie the other day and it said: 'Outlook not so good'. I said: 'Sure, but Microsoft ships it anyway'."

"The nice thing about standards is that there are so many to choose from."

"The term reboot comes from the middle age (before computers). Horses who stopped in mid-stride required a boot to the rear to start again. Thus the term to rear-boot, later abbreviated into reboot."

"Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code."

"The great thing about Object Oriented code is that it can make small, simple problems look like large, complex ones."

"Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn't leave something that can be traced back to you."